Whenever and wherever I am, my ever-present pain is always blocking out much other thoughts out of my mind.

It was the same thing a while ago during the recent Quiet Morning, Councelling Course and Family Camp. I was unable to concentrate much on the message that was conveyed due to the ever-present, intense pain all over my body. But then God spoke to me and said that I should rather inspire people to cope with pain, than to focus so much on the pain itself.

I was desperately talking to Mike (my minister) a while ago in being disillusioned to always go forward for prayer, but not seeing healing where I desperately want it. Mike then really opened my eyes by his sympathetic reply that I must always keep in mind that: maybe, just maybe, complete healing is not in God’s plan for me At last I know why I take notes during both morning church services, and then also get the preacher’s notes afterwards: Nick Sailer (lay preacher) spoke a while ago on healing, and as I was at home rewriting and going through my and his notes again and again, the Holy Spirit pointed something out to me:

The fact that we may experience God’s gift of healing in one of two ways: EITHER

1. the burden is removed or changed OR
2. God changes us through His power of endurance, where our burden no longer causes us anguish, sorrow and pain, but the miraculous God given ability to endure and be victorious over it makes us stronger and wiser in faith and brings us closer to Him.

I am also now learning to change my attitude towards my pains and aches. Rather than only complaining about it when asked how I’m doing, I now reply positively with (if I can find the reminder on paper!): “I am in pain, but the Lord is busy healing me!” Lastly, there is one particular verse in the Bible that really always keep me coping from moment to moment. That is Romans 8:18, where Paul says that he consider that what we suffer at this present time cannot be compared at all with the glory that is going to be revealed to us In other words our current pain and sufferings over this microscopic small timespan during our present time on earth are absolutely NOTHING, but NOTHING compared to the glory that we will experience in all eternity ... and we must just cling onto that!

Just an update today on 21 May 2004:

Since I've been married (this happy day was on the 31st of May 2003!), I've been more at peace with my pains and aches and I cope better with it.

Just an update today on 11 March 2005:

No, in looking back ... actually in Deon being placed on my path and eventually marrying him ... and in finding relief from my pains and aches ... it's all just fruit that eventually came from the act of forgiveness from my side!

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